Things I want to tell students


“What the fuck have you written”

Except, of course, that the ones who need to hear them aren’t the ones who attend tutorials.

  1. An essay is an argument, not a collection of ideas you think are interesting
  2. If you misuse a semi-colon, I will not trust anything else you have said
  3. I’m sure an ancient poetic mastermind is delighted that you think their work is clever
  4. What did you think would happen when you handed in an essay that didn’t even mention the question?
  5. is not an oracle, good fucking god
  6. I’m fascinated by your ability to discern exactly what an ancient author wanted to do at every point of the text
  7. Do you really think Sophocles wrote in English and was published in 2008
  8. You were definitely told how to do this

The featured image is a detail from the Sistine Chapel ceiling of Michelangelo, featuring Prophet Joel and a facial expression I empathise with.



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